


Too Much

by We_deserve_rainbows



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Caffeine Addiction, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Breakdown, No Beta read we die like men, Not Beta Read, Self-Harm, lams if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-28
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-11-06 18:41:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17945039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/We_deserve_rainbows/pseuds/We_deserve_rainbows
Summary: Alexander is a college student who works too hard. He’s trying to graduate in two years and he’s wearing himself thin.





	Too Much

Alexander is a college student who works too hard. He’s trying to graduate in two years and he’s wearing himself thin.

After a week of working nonstop and subsiding on caffeine Alex breaks down. He looks around his dorm at the thousands of papers and empty Red Bull’s and coffees and for what? To graduate early? He stumbles into the wall and slides down onto his knees. He looks at his dorm and cries. He has to write his history essay, edit the university newspaper, apologize to his debate coach for missing practice, and compose a speech to give at his mother's funeral. A single manic laugh forces its way up his throat, he was stupid to think that he could handle all of this on his own.

He sat on the ground and sobbed before composing himself. Alex stopped and sat up. Coffee, that’s all he needed, more coffee.

Johns POV 

The smile I had when Alex staggered in to the Starbucks quickly disappeared when I saw the bags under his eyes and the tear streaks on his face.

I heard him order, “ One large black coffee please,” he said while he fiddled with his hoodie strings. When he reached for his coffee his hands shook.

“Alex, over here!” I called to him as he turned to go back to his dorm.

Alex’s POV 

“Alex, over here!” I looked over and saw John excitedly wave to me. I gave a small smile as I walked over.

“Alex, are you doing ok?” John asked, concern written all over his face. 

“Yeah I’m fine,” I lied as I sipped my coffee.

“You sure?” He asked sincerely.

“Yeah, I’m just getting a coffee before I get back to work. I have a lot of stuff to do.” I replied, smiling to try and ease his concern.

“Ok, well, see you later,” he said clearly not believing a word I said.

“Bye,” I said as I walked away drinking my coffee. I had finished it by the time I had walked down the block.

When I got back to my dorm I took a little “break”. I got my razor out of one of my many textbooks and sat on my bed. I rolled up my sleeve and dragged the blade against my arm and hissed as an angry red line appeared. I cut four more times and rolled my sleeve down and got back to work.

Johns POV

I was worried about Alex. A new Thai place opened down the street and I know that he liked that stuff so I went to see if he wanted to go. 

I knocked on his door and said, “Alex, there’s a new Thai place down the street, do you want to go get dinner?”

Alex opened the door and I was immediately taken aback by how tired he looked. He had dark bags under his eyes and his hair was a mess. “Maybe another time,” he said looking at his feet.

“God, Alexander, when was the last time you ate?! Slept!?” I begged, panic edging into my voice.

Alex’s POV 

“God, Alexander,” full name, this was not good, “when was the last time you ate?! Slept!?” 

“I slept four days ago and I ate the day before yesterday,” I mumbled, not meeting Johns shocked stare.

“What! You can’t just DO that to yourself!” John exclaimed, gesturing wildly with his hands.

I shrugged and went to close the door.

Johns POV 

He tried to close the door but I grabbed his arm. He winced in pain and I start running through all the possible explanations for him wincing when I grabbed his arm. I carefully pull up his sleeve as he tried desperately to pull his arm away from me.

My eyes widen as I see scars on top of scars. Some of these are recent, I think horrified that my best friend would do this to himself. I lightly drag my fingers along his arm as tears fill my eyes. I look up and meet Alex’s fearful stare, he jerks his arm away from me and tries desperately to close the door. 

“Alex, wait!” I cried, shoving my foot in between the door and the frame. Alex stops trying to close the door and I cautiously push the door open and walk into the small room.

Alex’s POV

I go to sit cross legged on my bed as I wait for John to come in and berate me. Tears stream down my face as I meet John's kind gaze. My fingernails dig crescents into my palms as I prepare for the worst. 

He sits down next to me and takes my hand, “Lexi, I don’t know why you do this to yourself, but I want nothing more than for you to take care of yourself,” he faltered as he felt my hands shaking.

“Lexi, I love you, and I want you to be healthy. Please, you can’t keep stretching yourself so thin,” he pleaded.

After a while I softly promised , “Ok,” I looked into Johns eyes, “I’ll try,”

“Ok,” he said with a watery smile.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction ever. Any constructive criticism is always welcome!


End file.
